The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive.... The only person left outside was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flowerbed outside number four.

Thus starts Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by J.K. Rowling, the fifth in the bestselling series of Harry Potter Novels.

I just pre-ordered my copy at Fabmall. yayyyy!!

In an amusing and succinct essay about "habits and needs of a little-understood group", Johnathan Rauch talks about the finer points of being an introvert. And, being one, I quite agree to what he says.

Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."

So very true, I say! :-)

This gets better. Read on...

Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion.

With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially.

He ends with a three-point advice on how to deal with the introvert in your life...

First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.

Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"

Third, don't say anything else, either.

Well, not quite Carl Jung or Sigmund Freud... but makes for fun reading anyways! ;-)

Are you pro-war or anti-war or are you Neal Pollack?! In an absolutely irreverent and anti-idiotarian and funny article, Neal Pollack pokes and ribs the pro and anti war folks in equal measure. With all the serious (and sometimes quite hammy!)stuff being written in both camps, this article manages to evoke a smile and even an occasional chuckle!

I quote some of the points from the article...

My annoyance has been stewing for a while. It peaked with the emergence of Poets Against the War, an overhyped coalition of usual suspects led by Seattle poet and small-press publisher Sam Hamill. Last week Mr. Hamill, with a maximum amount of self-righteous pomposity, staged readings across the country. My first reaction, upon hearing about the protest readings, was, "Oh, no. The poets are against the war. Whatever are we going to do?"

Post-September 11 writing felt like the nation's collective diary. Even at its worst, it was somehow cathartic and sweet, even necessary. But this war-to-be with Iraq has unleashed a torrent of pompous fulmination--perhaps not as great in volume as after September 11, but twice as pretentious and grating.

Neal first targets the pro-war group...

Now let's see what's up over at the New Yorker. I've just selected an issue at random from the pile on my coffee table. Oh, here's this week's Hendrik Hertzberg editorial about Important Matters That We Face: "A little more time, especially if it comes with a Security Council resolution unambiguously authorizing force if Iraq does not unambiguously disarm, would mitigate the damage to allied unity, lessen the (largely self-created) isolation of the United States, and... "

I'm sorry, Rick. Were you saying something?

LOL!!... could anyone make out what this Hendrik Hertzberg wants to communicate?? ;-)

Then comes the turn of the anti-war peaceniks...

With the pro-war writers, sometimes you get the sense that they're not only trying to influence their readers but trying to persuade themselves as well. Except in extreme cases, a little doubt crawls around the edges. But that's not the case with antiwar writers, who just exude smug certainty as they preach to their already-converted audience. They know the secret evil heart of U.S. imperialism, and they're going to tell us all about it, for pages and pages.

Then this one is plain hilarious...

Meanwhile, in turncoat land, Dan Savage, generally liberal sex-advice columnist and medium-market weekly newspaper editor, writes pieces in favor of the war so persuasive that Rush Limbaugh reads them on the air. Hooray, Dan! You support the president! Now shut up and go test-drive that three-pronged dildo for your next column. I wouldn't read a sex-advice column by, say, E. J. Dionne, and I don't want to read a political article by you.

And then... Pollack ends his article with a fervent plea!

So to all of us who deem ourselves writers in this time of war, I can only say, in the immortal words of the great folk singer Kelly Osbourne:

Shut up!

Ever heard of a soundless concert that stirs your emotions?!. A bizzare experiment in soundless music has revealed how people's emotions are affected by noises they cannot hear.

Scientists have begun analysing the responses of 250 people who took part in the study into the effects of infrasound, carried out at Liverpool's Metropolitan Cathedral last September.

They showed the audience's emotions intensified as the inaudible sound vibrations, too low for the human ear to perceive, were blasted out during a 50-minute piano recital.

Those feeling uncomfortable when the concert began, found their mood turning to anger.

Others, who had felt happy, started to notice sensations of joy.

Some physical affects were also experienced, including tingling in the back of the neck and a strange feeling in the stomach.

Read more about it here

Music without any sound!!... Ahem! what next?... movies without visuals??!

India ranked 37th in networked readiness. According to a news article on Rediff, among the 82 countries that were assessed by the World Economic Forum for the "state of their information technology system and its effects on economic growth and productivity", India was placed at the 37th position. Not bad! ... especially considering the huge size of the country and the low levels of telecom and PC penetration.

Finland was ranked at the first place because of the high technology usage by its citizens, businesses and the government. It was followed by United States and Singapore.

Among other significant positions, Germany is in the 10th spot, Israel in the 12th spot and Estonia is in the 24th place. The African nation of Tunisia is ranked higher than India at the 37th place!

And for all the brouhaha over the Chinese threat to India in the IT sector, China is ranked much lower than India at the 43rd position!

Michael Jackson saga continueth!! For all the people who said that MJ was an innocent, albeit misunderstaood, man... I ask! What do you make of this!!

CNN reports that a hacker has gained access to as many as 2.2 million Visa and MasterCard accounts. It says that the two companies announced that the hacker breached the security system of a company that processes credit card transactions on behalf of merchants, Visa and MasterCard.

However it seems none of the accounts have been fraudulently used so far. In any case, both card companies have zero-liability policies, which protect cardholders from being held responsible for unauthorized or fraudulent charges.

The culprit however has still not been identified.

Bollywood told to stub it out

The World Health Organisation has accused the Bollywood film industry of encouraging teenagers to smoke by increasing the amount of smoking shown on screen.

In a report to be released on Tuesday in Geneva, the organisation also said it used to be mostly bad guys who smoked. But now more than half of Bollywood heroes were also shown lighting up in films.

The United Nations' health body studied Bollywood films released in the last 10 years.

Well... I guess this is all that United Nations will continue doing, once its existence is rendered redundant by certain member countries.

It is estimated that 15 million people a day watch Bollywood films, either at the cinema or on television. Many see the stars as a leading cultural influence.

The health organisation is now calling on Bollywood to end on-screen smoking altogether.

Gee! ... and they say Shiv Sena talks too much about cultural influence/invasion, banning and stuff like that!!

But I agree with one thing... down with smoking!! ... at least in public places!

[update]
Amrita says Hi to everybody, from Chandigarh. She's on an industrial trip and is stuck with a slow PC and a slower net connection. But it seems she's living it up... she's enjoyed chai from a matki in Mathura and a sexy tandoori in Chandigarh. And she's looking forward to the fresh snow thats reported to have fallen in Kufri! :-)
[/update]

Why the Buddha laughs!. Laughing Buddha has been interviewing some pretty ladies apart from keeping us all well updated on the World Cup action from South Africa!

Looks like his latest role is being a wicket-keeper... since he's been Stumping Ms Goretti!! ;-) :-P

Yayyy!... I found some info in Giant Robot!. Thanks to Metafilter, I found this link giving some info about Johnny Sokko and his flying robot called Giant Robot.

I used to love this series when they used to show it on DD when I was a kid! ;-)

Investigators say hole in aluminum wrecked the Shuttle. The panel investigating the loss of the space shuttle Columbia said that a hole developed in its aluminum skin, allowing superheated gas to flow into the left wing and causing the ship's destruction.

NASA also released a highly detailed map showing for the first time that the Columbia's sensors began detecting subtle signs of trouble when the craft was still above the Pacific Ocean, 400 miles off the coast of Sonoma County in Northern California.

The new map, combined with the board's finding that a hole was burning through spacecraft's skin, suggested that observations of glowing pieces falling away from the shuttle over California carry significant clues to the ultimate cause of the disaster. It could mean that the catastrophic series of failures began almost the moment the Columbia re-entered the atmosphere, lending credence to theories that its exterior had been damaged earlier — perhaps by a piece of foam insulation that fell off during launching, perhaps by space debris or by some other phenomenon like a storm in space.

Read about the details here ()Registratin required)

Hacking the hacker! Kevin Mitnick, hacker par excellence, recently came out of federal probation and started a new security consulting company called, Defensive Thinking. Twice in the last two weeks, hackers/vandals have managed to hack into the website of Mitnick's company.

The latest breach was by a hacker from Texas who said he hacked into Mitnick's site because he wanted to be hired as Mitnick's security officer.

In the earlier breach, a hacker calling themselves Bugbear simply added a page to the website saying; "welcome back to freedom mr.kevin ;)".

In both instances, the hackers took advantage of a flaw in Microsoft's popular Internet Information Server (IIS) to break into the web server.

Golly!! hearing this... I am wondering how many customers Defensive Thinking is going to get!!

Here's a good balanced view of this whole US-Iraq thing.

Present at...What? an editorial in The New York Times by Thomas L. Friedman (Registration required)

Well, it leans a little towards war... but neverthless, presents a good case for the US to hold back its attacking instincts till a global coalition is formed.

That means the Bush hawks need to realize they cannot achieve their ultimate aim of disarming and transforming Iraq without maximum international legitimacy. And the Euro-doves need to realize they cannot achieve their aims of a peaceful solution in Iraq and preserving the U.N. and the whole multilateral order without a credible threat of force against Saddam Hussein.

That's quite right! The "unilateral war" that the US seeks to start against Iraq will be disastrous for the world order without the support and consent of the other countries... even though US is the world's greatest and the only superpower.

The first rule of any Iraq invasion is the pottery store rule: You break it, you own it. We break Iraq, we own Iraq — and we own the primary responsibility for rebuilding a country of 23 million people that has more in common with Yugoslavia than with any other Arab nation.

I like the pottery store rule! :-)

We don't need a broad coalition to break Iraq. We can do that ourselves. But we do need a broad coalition to rebuild Iraq, so that the American taxpayer and Army do not have to bear that full burden or be exposed alone at the heart of the Arab-Muslim world. President Bush, if he alienates the allies from going to war — the part we can do alone — is depriving himself of allies for the peace — the part where we'll need all the friends we can get.

We need a compromise. We need to say to the French, Russians and Chinese that we'll stand down for a few more weeks and give Saddam one last chance to comply with the U.N. disarmament demands — provided they agree now that if Saddam does not fully comply they will have the U.N. authorize the use of force.

If war proves inevitable, it must be seen as the product of an international decision, not an American whim.

This last point is very critical... from an international point of view. Then Friedman rounds off his editorial by giving a very valid argument, which may sound arrogant, but is very important if the US wants to prevent another Vietnam.

Because there is no war we can't win by ourselves, but there is no nation we can rebuild by ourselves — especially Iraq.

We need more such balanced views. Neither the hawkish "war cries" nor the pacifist "make love not war" views will help. As always... the middle path is always the best. Take it America... the world and more importantly, Iraq, will be grateful to you for doing so!

Shane Warne out of the world cup!!!?? A report on Rediff gives the sensational news that Shane Warne has pulled out of the world cup!!
The report says...

Australian television stations reported on Tuesday that leg spinner Shane Warne had pulled out of the World Cup after apparently taking a banned substance inadvertently while recovering from a shoulder injury.

Don't know is this is authentic information. But it is a big big blow to the World Cup and not to mention Australia's chances!!

Since cricket is going to be the flavour of the coming month (and some more), it makes sense to talk about it... I guess!

Francois Gautier has written a column on Rediff, titled Cricket, the Destroyer in which he derides the sport of cricket in the Indian context. I do not quite agree with some of the arguments he has presented.

Yet, both India and Pakistan should consider this: cricket is a colonial game, a leftover of the British Empire. Cricket was played in the 19th century by rich, idle maharajas and upper class Indians, who wanted to look more British than the British and aped the English in whatever they did, whether it was hunting tigers, owning a Rolls Royce, or playing the 'gentleman's game.'

A very very common argument against cricket. Agreed!... that cricket is a colonial leftover that the Indians have taken to like fish to water. But then so is our parliamentary democracy! It is an exact carbon copy of the British parliamentary system. Why then are we still using it. Why not go in for the Presidential form of democracy just to rid ourselves of this colonial leftover. Or better still, lets devise a totally new system of democracy that'll make us proud to be Indians... our very own system that isn't inspired from the one that was (and still is!) practised by upper class Britishers who spend all their time having tea and biscuits, when they are not debating trivial issues in the confines of the parliament building.

It was never a sport for the masses. It is a pity that after Independence, both the governments of India and Pakistan encouraged cricket. This South Asian obsession with cricket has had catastrophic consequences on the national psyche of these countries.

Ohh! in fact I thought the effect of cricket was just the opposite. Why does Mr. Gautier think cricket is an elitist game and not for the masses?! In fact, cricket is and always has been a spectator sport. It may not be just 90 minutes long as soccer or 70 minutes long as hockey... but it has always attracted spectators, whether it has been played on green English meadows or in emotional cauldrons like Eden Gardens in Kolkata. Lets see... the quintessentially Indian game/sport of chess is as elitist as it gets.

There is unfortunately a conspiracy between the Government of India and the big business corporations to inflate the importance of cricket because they make so much money out of it. The amount spent by multinationals and national companies, for instance, on the pre-publicity for the present cricket World Cup is nothing short of shameful in a country where basic necessities such as drinking water are badly lacking.

C'mon... I'm not even gonna comment on this naive argument. When you have no other argument to present... give the conspiracy angle to buttress your argument.

It is equally disgraceful players, however talented they are, endorse any product, from soft drinks to cars, from electronics to foreign credit cards. As sportsmen of international standing, they should show some sense of balance in the choice of products they associate their image with. Crores of rupees are spent on artificial, tasteless ads for Coca-Cola and Pepsi that not only incarnate American imperialism but also lead to obesity and chemical imbalance in the body. If only the profits of multinationals would benefit poor Indians, but they mostly go in the pockets of American multinationals and a few rich Indians.

Haha! ... the Left speaketh!! The use of socialist comments like these never fails to generate sympathy among the "patriotic" audiences.

Cricket stifles all other sports. Because of the sponsorship and advertisement solely focused on cricket, much more deserving and physically harder sports, such as track and field are neglected and other athletes get very little sponsorship and media attention. As a direct result, India's world position in sports, considering that there are a billion Indians, is abysmal and nothing short of disgraceful.

I simply don't subscribe to this..."Cricket kills other sports" viewpoint. Where was the hype and craze for cricket before that magic 1983 triumph in England?!! It existed in India just as any other sport... well, probably slightly more popular than other sports. Hockey was the apple of everyone's eyes... with the Indian team being the tour de force of world hockey. That triumph of 1983 changed everything. Cricket came into focus as the sport in which Indians could actually be world-beaters. Also, the Indian dominance in international hockey scene was on the wane. All this led to crowning of cricket as the numero uno sport in the country. After the opening up of the Indian economy in the early 1990's, big money started coming into cricket as the corporates looking to sponsor sports naturally plumped for cricket which was the most popular sport. Added to this was the rise of players like Sachin Tendulkar whose individual talents shone like beacons in game that was essentially a team-sport. Endorsing of products by stars, be it movie stars or sports stars, is a global phenomenon and does not have anything to do with aping America.

It is also high time that sports be taken off the hands of politicians and bureaucrats, who have shamelessly exploited it for selfish purposes and left it in the mire it is now.

On this point, I agree 100% with Mr. Gautier. Though, it begs to be mentioned that a certain percentage of politicians and businessmen in the sports-governing bodies, is a good thing too.

Then curiously... Mr. Gautier gets confused about what he is supposed to write and starts talking about things like "saffronisation of education", meditation, pranayam and religion. Gee!! ... and I thought he was talking about cricket being a bad thing for India!

It is high time the Indian government enforces a limitation on the number of international cricket matches played abroad and starts focusing a little more on other sports. India lags 30 years behind China and 50 years behind the West in most sports.

Well! what does restricting the number of matches played in a year have anything to do with the upliftment of other sports?!! Confusion reigns supreme!! And finally... he hurriedly rounds of his column saying

Shame on you cricket, the destroyer.

Hmmm... what can I say!

By the way... a couple of days back, I heard an interview of ace commentator Harsha Bhogle. He said, "As long as India continues to be an unhappy nation, cricket will thrive. The day that Indians are a happy people, cricket will lose its raison d'etre."

Think about it!

After months and months of waiting and anticipation, it's here!!

The ICC Cricket World Cup 2003 gets underway today in South Africa today with a glittering opening ceremony at Newlands in Cape Town. The actual matches will start from tomorrow, 9^th February, with the hosts South Africa taking on the West Indies.

[shameless self-advertising]
Check out my little World Cup site here. Its got a world cup weblog that I'm maintaining with my friend Abhijeet, where you'll find world cup news, team reviews, match previews, match reviews, views, etc. (right now there isn't much, but it'll be built as the time goes by). It also sports other features like schedule, teams, trivia, etc. However the primary reason for putting up the site was running a little world cup contest. You can check out the contest here. You can check out the rules and if it interests you, you can then proceed to enter the contest. But I have to confess that in the absence of time and inclination, I have made the most primitive submission form ever. It relies on the user's default mail client to email the selection to a mail account from where the teams are manually entered in the competition. If you don't have a mail client configured by default, then you can email your team in the format specified on this address. The cut-off date/time for sending in the entries is the morning of 9^th February, IST. So, send in your entries ASAP. Well, there aren't any prizes except the pride of being better at predictions than the others. :-P

And of course, unlike the much hyped Super Selector, this contest does not charge money for participation! ;-)
[/shameless self-advertising]

From today, I'm starting a new feature on this blog for the duration of the World Cup. There, at the top of the blog, you'll see a box with interesting World Cup tidbits, trivia and/or any sensational news.

Ok, then... let the World Cup roll!!

Pakistan at it again!. When all the world was tuned in to Colin Powell's address to the UN Security Council and to the response of various countries to it, Pakistani Foreign Minister, Khurshid Mehmood Kasuri, in his speech, needlessly raked up the Kashmir issue. He said,

"I cannot but reiterate that the long-term stability in the region will also require among other things, durable elimination of political and military tensions between India and Pakistan through the final settlement of the dispute over Jammu and Kashmir in accordance with relevant UN Security Council resolutions."

The Pakistani justification for this adventure was that Kasuri was only following Islamabad's policy of mentioning Kashmir in every speech that a Pakistani diplomat gives in the Council.

Ahem!

Check out Ashish's audio commentary, available on this page, directly from South Africa, the place to be!!

You'll need a media player to hear the streaming audio

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I!. That's what Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame) says as he goes about conspiring the destruction of his enemies... his neighbours!

Whether you endorse Bush's plan to bomb Iraq or not, this guy's take on Bush's logic does evoke a chuckle or two.

On his neighbours, he says...

They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.

Gee! does that sound familiar?!!

And why doesn't he want to go to the police, you might ask! Here's why...

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.

Quite right. The police might send an inspector or two to investigate, but nothing more than that!

Terry Jones plans pre-emptive strikes against his neighbour's family and justifies this seemingly heinous act by saying,

Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.

Can't argue with that logic, can we?!

His wife, though, has some reservations. But Terry Jones has an answer for her misgivings

My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.

Who wouldn't shut up!!? After all we're talking about the logic of the most powerful man in the world!!

The final stroke from the rapier of Terry Jones is the coup de grâce

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

Touché!

Has the King of Pop gone 'POP!' in his head?. One would think so, if one goes by the "revealing and unsettling interview" he has given to veteran journalist, Martin Bashir. Bashir spent eight months with the reclusive pop icon, making the 90-minute documentary which features the interview.

Uri Geller, a psychic, who's Michael Jackson's friend thinks that the interview showed Jackson in positive light.

"I fully trust Michael, he is a pure innocent human being, he brings so much joy into the lives of people. I think Michael was brutally honest, he was direct, he never flinched from the most difficult questions,"

Well! I think, Geller should think that way. Its natural for him to think so. He was the person who helped set up the interview. So, even if he felt otherwise, would Geller ever say that he thought the interview was a collossal failure!

In the documentary, Jackson was shown with several of the children who regularly sleep over at his California ranch, and was seen riding a Ferris wheel, driving go-carts and climbing a tree on the 3,000-acre property. Asked about his friendships with children, Jackson was candid.

"I have slept in a bed with many children including actor Macaulay Culkin and his brother Kieran. When you say `bed,' you're thinking sexual. It's not sexual, we're going to sleep. I tuck them in. ... It's very charming, it's very sweet."

I somehow smell something rotten here. Something very repulsive!

During the eight months that Bashir spent with Michael Jackson, he travelled with the popstar on a Las Vegas shopping spree and was also there when Jackson dangled his baby, Prince Michael II from the balcony of the fourth floor of a Berlin hotel.

Jackson called the dangling incident a terrible mistake and said,

"I would never do that to my children, or any child. We were waving to thousands of fans down below and they were chanting they wanted to see my child, so I was kind enough to let them see. They got the full experience and he enjoyed it."

Egad! now would Michael Jackson, the guy who claims to adore children so completely, do something that would put the life of his own child in danger just to please his audiences??! In his right senses, he would not!

The clincher came when Bashir inquired about the numerous cosmetic changes he has undergone over the years. To this he said except for the two operations to his nose, he had not done anything,

"I am telling you the honest truth," he said. "I didn't do anything to my face. The surgeries to the nose were done because they helped me breathe better so I can hit higher notes."

I rest my case!! MJ has established his credentials as being Wacko Jacko!

For the information of people in the United States, the documentary will be broadcast at 8 PM EST on Thursday on ABC's "20/20".

Disclaimer : This is a work of fiction. All the characters in this piece are completely imaginary and fictitious. Any resemblance to any characters living or dead is purely intentional. The author has written this piece without any gender bias... ridiculing only the concept of beauty queens and contests judging beauty.


The promos had been flashing with an almost metronomic regularity. Even the most disinterested could tell you that come sunday, the most-watched news channel would bring to its the viewers, the interviews with the hottest celebs of the week... the three beauty queens!

Just the thought of seeing and hearing the "icons of Indian womanhood" sent millions of people across the nation into a tizzy. The anticipation was building up and as sunday dawned, the excitement reached a fever pitch that could only be matched by the frenzy that can exist at Eden Gardens for an India-Pak ODI.

Minutes before the appointed hour, the streets wore a deserted look and the flickering blue glow of the TV screens was visible through almost every window in the cities, towns and villages.

Then the familiar tune of the news channel sounded and everyone sat rapt in attention, eyes glued to the idiot box. What follow are exerpts from the interview. Some portions, potentially harmful to the kind reader's brain, have been deleted.

He-News-Anchor (HNA) and She-News-Anchor (SNA) sport wide smiles as they welcome the three ladies into the studio. The returning ear-to-ear smiles are wider and toothier. The brilliant whiteness of the teeth cause a temporary glare in the studio. Temporarily blinded, the HNA looks into the wrong camera as he begins to speak.

HNA : Let us welcome the three most beautiful ladies (realizes he's looking into the wrong camera... whirls around to look into the right camera as he completes the sentence)... in the country tonight!

SNA : On the extreme right is Missed India Runner up 2... Welcome!

Missed India Runner Up 2 (Miss India 2) : Namaste ... (bows head over hands joined in the tradition Indian greeting... then looks up and continues smiling)

SNA : To her left is Missed India Runner Up 1... Welcome to you too!

Missed India Runner Up 1 (Miss India 1) : Namaskar... to all my fellow Indians (does the bowing head-and-joining-hands routine and follows it up with a wave of her right hand... which signifies "ALL my fellow Indians")

SNA : Finally... to her left is the happiest of them all... the most beautiful woman in the country... Miss India!!

Miss India : Hello and Namaste (She joins her hands and bows her head. The tiara, precariously perched atop her impossibly complicated hairdo slips. The right hand whizzes up to the top of her head supporting the tiara while the left hand continues to be in the "Namaste" position. She's frozen in this pose for a few seconds. Then startegically the camera pans towards the HNA.)

HNA : Tell me ladies... how does it feel to be crowned the beauty queens? We'll start with you Miss India...

Miss India : (coos coyly) Ooooooh! It feels as if I'm on top of the world. I just cannot believe it even now. Here... pinch me! ..... Ouch!!!

Miss India 1 : Its like God has showered his blessings on us and has been very generous. Thank God! (looks heavenwards)

Miss India 2 : I think I agree with Miss India and Miss India 1.

SNA : What was it like up there waiting for the final announcement?

Miss India 1 : Oh I knew I was gonna win or at least come second. I was not nervous at all.

Miss India : I was incredibly nervous. If Aman and Malaika had not announced my name in the final three I think I would have cried. I sooooo wanted to be Miss India! It has been my dream since childhood. As a little girl, every year I used to sit glued to the TV looking at those beauty queens with awe. When Sush was crowned and she made that famous gesture of surprise, I said, I want to be a beauty queen. My mummy did not believe me and my dadda choked on his tea... but I knew I was destined to be the most beautiful woman in this land of culture, tradition and mysticism... a land called India!

Miss India 2 : I think I quite agree with Miss India. I was very nervous too.

HNA : How was the camaraderie among all you girls during the days before the final round... during the training period?

Miss India : Uhhh... the cama... the came... uhhh

Miss India 1 : (with a look that she thought conveyed intelligence) cameradairy...

Miss India : Ohhh... the cameradairy! ... oh yes! ... it was good!... in fact very good! Miss India 2 will tell you how good it was (knowing that Miss India 2 had half a brain more than any of the contestants).

Miss India 2 : Oh yes... we were extremely friendly and completely like a family. There were absolutely no quarrels or fights... uhhh... if you don't count the catfight that erupted when the organizers asked that dumb bimbo to play Miss India during the dress rehearsals. But then... a family has a few fights. Hai na?!

SNA : Of course! I can understand...

Miss India : (catching the meaning of "cameradairy" and wanting to have the last word) We were like sisters!! ... very much so! (with that she leans over to her right to hug Miss India 1 who leans to her left to receive that hug. Halfway through the act... Miss India's sash slips off her shoulder since she is leaning. Trying to save the sash from falling off, she straightens herself immediately. Miss India 1 keeps on leaning towards Miss India for the hug that never comes. The chair she is sitting on, decides to lean with her and for a moment as if in slow motion Miss India 1 is leaning at an impossible angle... until... Miss India 2 reaches out and pulls her right arm bringing Miss India 1 back to the vertical position. The nation watches.)

SNA : Well, tell me... who were your favourite judges in the finals?

Miss India : Ahh! Mahesh!!!! ... He's soooo cute!!

Miss India 1 : Ohh! I prefer older men... I liked Jackie. He looks so sophisticated without his moustache!!

Miss India 2 : I think I agree with them. But I really like Yash Chopra. I like his movies. Women in his movies are sooo pretty and graceful. I would love to work with him (the extra bit of brain inside the cranium of this lady was betting on the possibility that Mr. Yash Chopra was watching the telecast. No harm in sending signals!)

HNA : Ok then... how was the preparation for the event. The fitness programs and the grooming sessions, etc.

Miss India 1 : Ya! they were so thorough! They transformed the ugly ducklings that we were into such beauties. They ...

Miss India : (cannot bear the word "ugly" associated with her. Interrupts!) We were all beautiful on the inside. These fitness programmes and the grooming sessions really only brought the inner beauty outside for the world to see. We needed some polishing on our rough edges. That is what the programmes before the contest gave us!

Miss India 2 : I think I agree!

SNA : And what about the diet regimen... the food?

(Suddenly... a loud growl ripped through the studio. Confused and angry... everybody turned towards the sound technicians who shrugged and looked around innocently. Nobody realized that it was the collective growl from the stomachs of the three beauties... at the mention of "food")

The astute SNA changes track (knowing how sensitive the issue of "food" can be... especially to these anorexic ladies)...
SNA : Tell us how you will be utilizing this year as the beauty queens?

Miss India : We are not just beauties. We are beauties with a difference. We will make a difference! (obviously a sentence learnt by rote!)

Miss India 1 : We will be travelling across the country spreading the message of peace and helping the underprivileged kids. Our crowns make us an ambassador of peace and goodwill. We will try to spread cheer into the lives of people who need it the most. Before the year is out, we will try our level best to win glory for India at the various international beauty paegents like Miss Universe and Miss World...

HNA : But we have seen in recent years that Indians are not getting the same awards at these international paegents...

Miss India : Haha... don't worry. It is true that in the past few years our competitors have not been able to corner the same glory for India since Lara Dutta. But we are better. We will win. In the name of this land of culture, diversity, tradition... we will go on to win. Just you see!

Miss India 2 : I think I quite agree!

HNA : (probing a little bit further) But there is a theory floating around that nowadays the prettiest girls are not chosen just to show that beauty is not everything while judging these contests. What do you say to that?

Miss India : (For a moment, the eyes glare and the nostrils flare. Thousands of observant viewers swear that they saw little green horns portruding from Miss India's head. But they are not sure. It was a fleeting glimpse.) Completely rubbish!! Look at me... Don't I look pretty?!!

Miss India 1 : Look at me too!!

Miss India 2 : I think I agree! Complete rubbish!

SNA : (Astute as ever) That's all we have time for today on this special beauty edition of the programme. We thank the lovely threesome for sharing their thoughts with us. Thank you ladies!! ... And now... we will be back after a very short commercial break!

At the sound of the word "break", the spell that held millions in thrall, is broken. Life in India returns to normal. Channels are changed... dinners eaten... the streets start buzzing again. Life goes on as usual.

A letter to the President. From one thing to another, so much for which to be accountable.
[via Metafilter]

Dr. Kalpana Chawla (1961 - 2003).



You did India proud. May your soul rest in peace.

1 - 2 - 3... Go!!. Well no, I am not flagging off any race. Its just that I realized that today is 1st February 2003. Which means, at least for the dd-mm-yy world, that it is 01-02-03 today!!

By the way, Have a Happy Chinese New Year! ... the year of the sheep!

I'm extremely proud and excited to announce that my friend, a classmate, from my schooldays is going to represent India at the British Formula Ford 1800 Zetec series. He and his two team-mates have been selected from India by the reputed Peter Chambers Racing Team from Britain. British Formula Ford is the racing series, that is considered to be a very promising stepping stone to the super exclusive Formula One circuit. What makes this even more exciting and prestigious is that, the only other Indian to have been previosuly selected to represent India at this racing series has been Narain Karthikeyan.

Amit Kowli (my friend), Rohan Kowli (his younger bro) and Kunal Shah form the trinity that comprises of the REVS MOTORSPORT TEAM. These three have great racing credentials, having mastered the Karting circuits in India. Now they set their sights on the Formula Ford championships, considered by many experts as the first step towards the Formula One dream. Of course, there are lots more milestones to achieve and many steps to take before that happens. There are still circuits like Formula Renault, Formula Three, etc. to go before the big league. But they have taken the first step and that is the most important thing, especially in a country like India where the racing infrastructure is next to being absent.

Currently, REVS MOTORSPORT TEAM is being sponsored by Inter-Gold (the world no. 2 in the diamond market) with tie-ups with firms like GEM and Percept-Dmark. But the team is looking out for more sponsors as racing in Britain is a very expensive affair. If any of you belong to or know of any companies that sponsor motorsport or any sporting events, then the team would appreciate if you could put them through to your company's contacts. Here is the contact address of the team.

Right now, Amit and his team-mates are busy participating in 12-hour endurance races, on the advice of Narain Karthikeyan. Amit and Rohan (both qualified architects) like to practice at the Landmarc Citi karting course at Worli in Mumbai. They build up stamina and strength by jogging twice a day and do cardio workouts to build strength in arms, legs and necks. Their diet too is strict. But they don't mind it. Amit says, "So what if we don't get to eat burgers, not many guys our age can get to race internationally, representing their country, do they?".

Now you see... why I was proud and excited. After all, how many guys my age can boast of friends who race internationally, representing their country?? ;-)

In the book Achieving Rapid Dominance, the authors Harlan Ullman and James Wade discuss a military strategy that they have termed as Rapid Dominance. This term, as defined in the book, aims at "producing a capability that can more effectively and efficiently achieve the political or military objectives underwriting the use of force by rendering the adversary completely impotent."

The book further does some detailed analysis of the term Rapid Dominance. It says,

In Rapid Dominance, "rapid" means the ability to move quickly before an adversary can react. This notion of rapidity applies throughout the spectrum of combat from pre-conflict deployment to all stages of battle and conflict resolution.

"Dominance" means the ability to affect and dominate an adversary's will both physically and psychologically. Physical dominance includes the ability to destroy, disarm, disrupt, neutralize, and to render impotent. Psychological dominance means the ability to destroy, defeat, and neuter the will of an adversary to resist; or convince the adversary to accept our terms and aims short of using force. The target is the adversary's will, perception, and understanding. The principal mechanism for achieving this dominance is through imposing sufficient conditions of "Shock and Awe" on the adversary to convince or compel it to accept our strategic aims and military objectives. Clearly, deception, confusion, misinformation, and disinformation, perhaps in massive amounts, must be employed. The key objective of Rapid Dominance is to impose this overwhelming level of Shock and Awe against an adversary on an immediate or sufficiently timely basis to paralyze its will to carry on. In crude terms, Rapid Dominance would seize control of the environment and paralyze or so overload an adversary's perceptions and understanding of events that the enemy would be incapable of resistance at tactical and strategic levels. An adversary would be rendered totally impotent and vulnerable to our actions. Theoretically, the magnitude of Shock and Awe Rapid Dominance seeks to impose (in extreme cases) is the non-nuclear equivalent of the impact that the atomic weapons dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki had on the Japanese. The Japanese were prepared for suicidal resistance until both nuclear bombs were used. The impact of those weapons was sufficient to transform both the mindset of the average Japanese citizen and the outlook of the leadership through this condition of Shock and Awe. The Japanese simply could not comprehend the destructive power carried by a single airplane. This incomprehension produced a state of awe.

I haven't gone through the exercise of reproducing parts of a certain obscure military strategy book, for nothing.

George Bush is preparing to translate the theory of Shock and Awe into practice. It will be called the A-Day. A for airstrikes so lethal and devastating that they would leave Saddam's soldiers, not just incapable of retaliation but also unwilling to do so.

Just to gauge the intensity of this strategy, consider this. In the first two days of air-strikes, Pentagon plans to launch as many as 800 Cruise missiles (yeah! you heard that right!!) attargets in Iraq. That means a mind-boggling 400 missiles a day. A number that is double the number of such missiles launched in the entire 40-day campaign of the Gulf War in 1991. I've heard that Texans always think big. But this is ridiculous!!

"There will not be a safe place in Baghdad," a Pentagon official told America's CBS News after a briefing on the plan. "The sheer size of this has never been seen before, never been contemplated before."

Analysts say that the main objective is not just to disable Iraq's fighting capacity but to leave the civilian population dispirited and unwilling to support Saddam's regime. But hasn't it been tom-tommed countless number of times how the Iraqi civilian population is dis-illusioned with Saddam's rule and are not supportive of him. Then why, pray why is this necessary. On top of this Harlan Ullman, the author of the book mentioned above says, "You're sitting in Baghdad and, all of a sudden, you're the general and 30 of your division headquarters have been wiped out. You also take the city down. By that I mean you get rid of their power and water. In two, three, four, five days they are physically, emotionally and psychologically exhausted." Great!! Bush listens to such people!

Now, how much does it take for Saddam to escape all this murder and mayhem sought ot be wrought by the Americans led by a sabre-rattling Bush?? Not much. His bunkers and tactics of using look-alikes worked very well last time around and there is no reason why they may not work this time as well. Moreover The Gulf nations aren't as readily agreeable to Bush's war plans as they were last time (even though, it begs to be pointed out that even last time, it took coercion to get them to agree for strikes against Iraq). So, it will not be too difficult for Saddam, his sons adn his military top-brass to sneak out of Iraq before the bombing starts. And we have seen in Afghanistan how Osama and his band of terrorists managed to sneak through American dragnets time and time again (in fact, the frustration of these failures in Afghanistan is what has led Bush to aim at a soft target like Saddam. And I mean soft target because it is very easy to get the world to hate Saddam on any given day). So, who then is left to suffer?? The Iraqi people... as usual!!

Reposrts say that Bush is prepared to give UN inspectors another month to complete their tasks. Now, doesn't this sound magnanimous on the part of George W?? But it is interesting to note that in a Gallup poll published yesterday, only 17% of the respondents were actually in favour of going to war with Iraq. With a huge chunk of the population, as large as 83%, opposed to war, George W Bush dare not jump into the war just yet. Over the course of next month, he will give speeches like the State of Union Address that he delivered yesterday while announcing a new medicare policy. He will use each and every forum to deliver speeches that will whip up sentiments of the American public in favour of war. He'll work on the philsophy mentioned by Hermann Goering before he was sentenced to death. Goering said, "Naturally the common people don't want war: neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

History repeats itself, they say. Not like this, please!

With war clouds looming large on his country's horizon, Uday Hussein, Saddam's son has already warned, "If they come, September 11, which they are crying over and see as a big thing, will be a real picnic for them, God willing. They will be hurt and pay a price they will never imagine. They can get much more from Iraq without resorting to the logic of force and war."

Good begets good... Bad will definitely beget more bad!

In the end, I'm totally shocked and certainly not in awe!

Those two ladies are at it again!!

Ashwini and Shanti have come up with yet another gem of an idea. Its called Blog Mela (or so it is called at the moment, at least). It will be a collection of the week's best posts from the Indian blog world. And it'll be hosted by RealWomenOnline.com which is another of their brilliant ideas.

The ladies explain the concept of Blog Mela, thus. "You send in your best posts for the week or You send in a link to a post that you have read on someone else's blog(it has to be an Indian blog though). Your entries have to reach us by tuesday evening IST. The posts will be published on Wednesday morning EST.".

The restriction on submissions for Blog Mela is that the submitted blogs should not be personal posts. All other topics are allowed.

Ashwini adds a threat (oops! ... a warning) "If you don't send in those posts, we are still going ahead with the Mela and we are going to pick the posts ourselves at random. Let it not be said that you were not forewarned. :-)

Well, I'll be looking forward to reading an assortment of best Indian blog-posts on Blog Mela. Who knows, perhaps one day this good-for-nothing scribbler might be published there! ;-) :-p

Bungler left a comment on my tagboard (zonkboard) which mentioned the name of Ken Nichols O'Keefe. To be frank, I hadn't heard of O'Keefe previously. Bungler mentioned that he was interviewed by Tim Sebastien on BBC's Hard Talk and came across as "totally commited, with integrity and belief in what he does". So, I read up on this guy who is called the Human Shield.

Ken Nichols O'Keefe is a Gulf War veteran who joined the US Marines Corps in 1989 as a nineteen year-old eager to serve his country. In 1991, he was sent to Iraq during Operation Desert Storm. He came to know that US ammunition in the war included the use of Depleted Uranium (DU) against civilian population. This meant that even the US troops using this deadly ammo were at risk. It was George Bush Sr. using the Gulf War as a testing ground for DU-based ammo, in the process, using the 'heroes' as mere guinea pigs.

In 1999, O'Keefe renounced his US citizenship citing the reason that it was done "in shame and disgust having arrived at the logical, albeit belated, conclusion that my government was not worthy of my funding - through taxes - and certainly not my allegiance. Paying for roads and schools is one thing, paying for "Weapons of Mass Destruction" to the point of insanity and nurturing global oppression is another thing all together. No moral being can be compelled to fund war, death and murder.".

You might say, what is it that makes this Ken Nichols O'Keefe so important. Well, he is an anti-war crusader who will go to Iraq (alongwith other like-minded peaceniks) and volunteer to act as human shield against the US-led attacks. He agrees that he and his fellow human shield volunteers might be maimed or killed. But that, he says, is not worse than the fate that innocent Iraqis will have to face. He points out that it is not about supporting Saddam Hussein (which, he points out, is what US did in the past). Instead it is about expressing solidarity for the Iraqi people and letting them know that not everybody in the Western world wants war with them. O'Keefe hits the nail right on the head when he argues that "...we will bring home to western public, the human cost of war because, unfortunately, the death and destruction faced daily by countless millions of our fellow human beings seems somehow an unfathomable abstraction unless western lives are at stake as well.". Well said, Mr. O'Keefe!

He also quotes Gandhi, "...peace will not come out of a clash of arms but out of justice lived and done by unarmed nations in the face of odds.".

Sounds quite idealistic and full of rhetoric, doesn't it? Well, maybe! But this is better than the idealism touted by Bush and Blair in their claims to be the sole defenders of peace and democracy and their so-called rights to assert their will on the weaker nations of the world.

Well, what do you people think?

Complete works of Shakespeare, all rolled into one play! Well, that's what the Reduced Shakespeare Company has been doing for the last six years or so, in London.

The London Theatre Guide Review says about the play...

The Reduced Shakespeare Company, perform a collection of sketches that is sure to have the Bard turning in his grave. Shakespeare has never been lampooned with such disrespect before and no doubt never will be again. All his sonnets are reduced to eight lines, his comedies are condensed into one short sketch, and the tragedies are ridiculed unmercifully. Hamlet is abridged into a two-minute sketch that can even be performed backwards.

These days the RSC is in Mumbai and will be performing the Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) at the Sophia Bhabha Hall at 7:30 PM every day from 29^th Jan 2003 to 2^nd Feb 2003.

I would love to go and check it out!! :-)

Dobby spells trouble for himself. Dobby, the computer-animated elf in the new Harry Potter film, could be at the centre of a court battle over his resemblance to Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Isn't the resemblance too uncanny?!!! :)

A Russian law firm is reportedly drawing up legal action against the special effects people who dreamt up Dobby, arguing that the ugly but caring elf has been modelled on Mr Putin. The Kremlin and Warner Bros, producer of Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, have declined to comment but the controversy has stirred emotions in Russia.

Potter websites and chatrooms have been inundated with angry Russian messages attacking anyone suggesting a likeness between the elf and Mr Putin.

Read more about this here
[via Metafilter]

Ashwini and Shanti have come up with RealWomenOnline.Com.

This is the reason for the existence of this new site...

There are a lot of bloggers around and many of them write really good stuff.But we find that many women, especially Indian women, are not opening up and talking the way they would like to about non-personal issues such as Politics, Sports, etc. We feel that many of the ladies are either intimidated by others or don't want to expend too much energy into maintaining a full time blog.

This blog is designed to help out in situations like that. We want women (and men) to use our space to post their thoughts, opinions any issue that is of interest to them, as long as it is not the recipe for the day's breakfast or details of their love life (not that there is anything wrong with that).

We want women to speak out here, like there is no one listening. We know they have a lot to say when they are between friends and we want this to be a place like that - where people speak freely, and there is a free exchange of ideas.

I think this is a great idea. It is good to see Blogs being used for something positive and worthwhile. Let us have more efforts like this!! :-)

Ok... the results for the Supersam's Challenge are out... ;-)

First, we'll take a look at the answers and then take a look at the scores.

1. Lets start with a swig of alcohol to warm you up. Which alcoholic beverage is derived from Scottish Gaelic 'Uisge beatha' which incidentally means 'the water of life'?
Ans: Whisky

2. With which athletic sport would you associate the "Fosbury Flop" or the "straddle"?
Ans: The High Jump

3. Where would you find 'the lovers', 'the chariot', 'justice', 'the wheel of fortune', 'the hanged man', 'death', 'temperance', 'the devil' and 'the tower'?
Ans: Tarot Cards

4. If a ballerina is a female ballet dancer, then what do you call a male ballet dancer?
Ans: A Danseur

5. According to the Bible (The Old Testament), what was the first command of God?
Ans: Let there be light!

6. In the story, 'Beauty and the Beast', what caused the Beast to turn back into a prince?
Ans: Beauty's love for the Beast

7. Spaceman Spiff and Stupendous Man are the alter egoes of which comic strip character?
Ans: Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

8. There are forty-three trillion wrong ways to arrange what?
Ans: The Rubik's Cube

9. In which film did Marilyn Monroe's dress billow up over the subway vent?
Ans: The Seven Year Itch

10. Made from the dried stamens of the cultivated crocus flower, what is the most expensive cooking spice?
Ans: Saffron

Now for the scores...

Bungler : 7/10
Maltesh : 4/10
Ashwini : 7/10
Shuchita : 5/10

So, there you have it... Bungler and Ashwini are the winners!! Congratulations!! :-)

What should you do when you are being robbed? Well... make the robbers laugh!

At least thats what famous Albanian comedian, Sejfulla Myftari, did when armed robbers aimed Kalashnikov rifles at him with intentions of robbing him on the highway, last week.

Stepping out of the car, Myftari reached out and patted the gun and said, "Oh thanks, I haven't seen a Kalash (Kalashnikov) in ages -- will you let me hold it please".

This amused the gangsters, who recognized the bald head and bulging eyes of the comedian, and asked him to leave quickly in his car, so that they could rob another car.

So, there you go! ... Laughter is, indeed, the best medicine!!! ;-)