I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I!. That's what Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame) says as he goes about conspiring the destruction of his enemies... his neighbours!

Whether you endorse Bush's plan to bomb Iraq or not, this guy's take on Bush's logic does evoke a chuckle or two.

On his neighbours, he says...

They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.

Gee! does that sound familiar?!!

And why doesn't he want to go to the police, you might ask! Here's why...

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.

Quite right. The police might send an inspector or two to investigate, but nothing more than that!

Terry Jones plans pre-emptive strikes against his neighbour's family and justifies this seemingly heinous act by saying,

Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.

Can't argue with that logic, can we?!

His wife, though, has some reservations. But Terry Jones has an answer for her misgivings

My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.

Who wouldn't shut up!!? After all we're talking about the logic of the most powerful man in the world!!

The final stroke from the rapier of Terry Jones is the coup de grâce

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

Touché!