Are you pro-war or anti-war or are you Neal Pollack?! In an absolutely irreverent and anti-idiotarian and funny article, Neal Pollack pokes and ribs the pro and anti war folks in equal measure. With all the serious (and sometimes quite hammy!)stuff being written in both camps, this article manages to evoke a smile and even an occasional chuckle!

I quote some of the points from the article...

My annoyance has been stewing for a while. It peaked with the emergence of Poets Against the War, an overhyped coalition of usual suspects led by Seattle poet and small-press publisher Sam Hamill. Last week Mr. Hamill, with a maximum amount of self-righteous pomposity, staged readings across the country. My first reaction, upon hearing about the protest readings, was, "Oh, no. The poets are against the war. Whatever are we going to do?"

Post-September 11 writing felt like the nation's collective diary. Even at its worst, it was somehow cathartic and sweet, even necessary. But this war-to-be with Iraq has unleashed a torrent of pompous fulmination--perhaps not as great in volume as after September 11, but twice as pretentious and grating.

Neal first targets the pro-war group...

Now let's see what's up over at the New Yorker. I've just selected an issue at random from the pile on my coffee table. Oh, here's this week's Hendrik Hertzberg editorial about Important Matters That We Face: "A little more time, especially if it comes with a Security Council resolution unambiguously authorizing force if Iraq does not unambiguously disarm, would mitigate the damage to allied unity, lessen the (largely self-created) isolation of the United States, and... "

I'm sorry, Rick. Were you saying something?

LOL!!... could anyone make out what this Hendrik Hertzberg wants to communicate?? ;-)

Then comes the turn of the anti-war peaceniks...

With the pro-war writers, sometimes you get the sense that they're not only trying to influence their readers but trying to persuade themselves as well. Except in extreme cases, a little doubt crawls around the edges. But that's not the case with antiwar writers, who just exude smug certainty as they preach to their already-converted audience. They know the secret evil heart of U.S. imperialism, and they're going to tell us all about it, for pages and pages.

Then this one is plain hilarious...

Meanwhile, in turncoat land, Dan Savage, generally liberal sex-advice columnist and medium-market weekly newspaper editor, writes pieces in favor of the war so persuasive that Rush Limbaugh reads them on the air. Hooray, Dan! You support the president! Now shut up and go test-drive that three-pronged dildo for your next column. I wouldn't read a sex-advice column by, say, E. J. Dionne, and I don't want to read a political article by you.

And then... Pollack ends his article with a fervent plea!

So to all of us who deem ourselves writers in this time of war, I can only say, in the immortal words of the great folk singer Kelly Osbourne:

Shut up!