Once there was a president. He served in the Air Force. Or did he?! Nobody knew for sure. The president said "I did!". Others said "But you went AWOL!". And thus they fought... on and on and on...
Then someone had a bright idea! "Why not check the service records?!", he said. "Yes, why not?!", others said brightly!!
And off they went to the archives to dig up dirt on the big bad Prez.
The guards at the archives shouted... "Shoo!!! ... go away, there are no such records here. We lost 'em!! So scat!!"
Everyone was surprised. "Hard luck!", they said... and went back home cursing their luck.
The president heaved a sigh of relief. He slept well that night. The last thoughts in his head before drifting off to sleep were... "If the tail was smarter, it would wag the dog."
[Link via Metafilter. NYTimes registration required. Click here for registration-less link]